Bend and Not Break
by bumblebee-111
Summary: Not really Phantom, but I didn't know where to put it. Some of you know me here so here it is. Not good at summaries, just trust me. It's short. Please R&R!


Just got an itch to write this. Don't know why. No explanation, my muse is depressed I guess. May be a tearjerker. Don't know yet. Got the name idea from a song I heard from Dashboard Confessional. Enjoy.

**Bend and Not Break**

This couldn't be happening. All of my fears, all of my worst nightmares that I had ever had seemed to lead up to this one moment. I couldn't let the reality in. I glanced at the clock as I walked down the stark white hall.

12:04am

My shoes made sloppy, wet tracks on the used-to-be spotless floor as I walked. They squeaked incessantly, the only noise reverberating in the hall. The stylish, frayed ends of my pants dragged with every stride. My feet seemed to keep on moving; yet my mind was in fixed firmly in one place. I had to get away. I couldn't get his face out of my mind.

My father, who was usually so strong, just _lying_ there.

Pale.

Cold.

No more jokes, no more laughing.

_He's gone…_

I tried to let the words sink in.

_Please, don't let her have been with him._

A sob was moving its way up my throat. I couldn't. She'd be here soon, and I didn't want _them_ to have to tell her…I owed her more than that.

God, these memories would be with me interminably.

* * *

"Your father, he didn't make it, I'm sorry." Her eyes seemed sincere. She was new, I could tell. She still didn't know how to deal with certain situations. 

It's funny that _that_ was what went through my head right after I registered what she had said. Then it really seeped in. Shock wound itself around my body. I couldn't move.

'_I'm sorry.' How the hell could she be sorry for me? She didn't even know me._

I blocked it, I didn't know what else to do with the emotions that were approaching. She was looking at me, I had to say something…or do something, or else she would think that I was having a mental breakdown.

_Maybe I was._

"What about my mom? Where's my mom? Was she with him? Where is she, is she all right?" I couldn't get the questions out fast enough. Tears started to blur my vision. I looked down to try and blink them away.

She hesitated, pausing. I noticed. I couldn't breathe anymore.

I asked again, this time louder drawing a few glances our way. I was making a scene. I didn't care. She faltered again, looking around for experienced staff to help her.

_Damn it just answer me!_

I nearly screamed it this time, startling onlookers. If she wanted to calm me she chose the wrong thing to say in her moment of desperation.

"I'm sorry Miss Collins but we have to identify the second body!"

_Body._

She had slipped. I knew it, she knew it. My mind seemed to just lock up. The epic battle of doing what you know you _should_ do or doing what you _want_ to do was waging inside of my head. My heart told me to give in to the pain while my brain told me that I couldn't. Laura would be here soon. If I crumbled, she would have no one to lean on.

I ran. She shouted my name but I just kept on going. I opened a door that had maintenance closet on it and quickly went inside.

I slammed the door and clumsily locked it with numb hands. My legs felt shaky and soon gave out from under me. I just sat there, a crumpled heap on the floor. I couldn't seem to do anything but stare at the floor. My chest burned and I realized that I had been holding my breath. I tried letting it out and instead a strangled sob escaped my mouth. My hands quickly came to my mouth and covered it along with my nose.

I screamed in to my hands, muffling the sound so that no one walking by would take notice. My face contorted so that I was unrecognizable to anyone who knew me. Sobs tore through my chest, breaking me. I took a few deep breaths and slowed my breathing. My faced relaxed and my eyes opened, they fixed on the injury on my kneecap. I had tripped on the curb on the way inside, ripping my pants in the knee, but I didn't even pay attention to the raw scrape. I got up on shaky legs and pulled the door open.

* * *

I continued down the hall. When I arrived in the waiting area she was already there. 

_When did she get here?_

She walked over with her questions. None of them I _wanted_ to answer but I _had_ to. My voice sounded hollow and raw. I told her everything from where I was when I was told about the crash up to when I saw her. Leaving out my slight breakdown in the maintenance closet and yelling at the nurse.

_Decorum at a time like this._

Her face looked like her soul had just been crushed.

Mine had.

The pain and suffering she felt turned upon me. She looked at me with anger and tears in her eyes. She was mad at me, that was easy to see.

"How can you just…stand there? Do you feel nothing?" Her voice grew in loudness.

"I can't do this…" My voiced wavered and gave me away. Her expression softened.

I turned and speed-walked away. She followed.

"Look, you may not be good at the whole showing emotions in front of other people thing…" she slightly shouted, hiccups and uncontrolled sobs escaping from her throat in the process, "but something really bad just happened…and I need you right now okay?" slow tears traveled their way down her flushed cheeks at her final words. She held her hands one upon the other to her chest clutching for something, she wasn't sure what.

I stopped but I didn't turn to her, I couldn't.

**I** had to be **brave**. **I** had to be **strong**. But I really just felt like a scared little girl lost in a house of mirrors.

"Well…?" her voice was quaking. She wanted an answer that I couldn't give.

" I can't fall apart right now…if I start crying I won't be able to stop." I said slowly and took a deep shuddering breath trying regain my composure. "I need to do something, fix this somehow…" I trailed off not knowing what to say.

_What could I fix anyway?_

My chest burned, the sob building that I wouldn't let break out.

"You can't bring them back," she whispered, her voice cracking.

My face scrunched up in anguish, I was silent though. I wouldn't let her hear me cry. My eyes burned with unshed tears blurring my vision.

I had to be strong for her, for the both of us, but there was only one problem.

I was _tired_ of being strong.

I turned around to face her, a mistake on my part. She looked so vulnerable. Her small frame in a hoodie that usually I would say made her look thinner and it would flatter her. Now, she just looked so defenseless and frail. Her jeans with the 'trendy' hole, that we would joke about because we knew it was stupid, near her right pocket.

Laura looked at me with her big brown eyes, pleading me, begging me to say something…anything. I couldn't speak; my tongue was suddenly too big to form words. My attempt at speaking was quickly silenced by a choked sob that seemed confined in my throat. God, I couldn't start now…if I did I knew I wouldn't end. I just stared at her, my friend, my sister.

The dam was finally breaking. She started towards me, her arms outstretched. I accepted her and we just stood there with one another. She needed this, but most of all **I** needed this. Silent tears slid down my cheeks. No words. Just one human being to another. Compassion, hope and love in our thoughts. I didn't want to let go. We slowly pulled apart. My surge of tears would come later when I was by myself.

My eyes fell upon a clock against the wall. Then it hit me.

_Oh, God._

"What's the date?" I softly asked, my tone warbling.

"W-Why?" she asked shaking.

"Just, what…?" My voice involuntarily got louder as my patience scattered.

"The fourth, February fourth…why?" her question was all but a whisper.

Cruel. It was all just so…cruel.

My eyes closed, I could hardly speak anymore; my earlier silent screams had made my throat raw.

"Happy Birthday to me."

* * *

Fin. Tell me if you like this. Flames are not accepted only constructive criticism. Tell me what this made you feel. Reviews make my day so just press that little button on the left down there…yup that's it. Don't just look, click it please and tell me what you think. 


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